My backstory

My first memory of being hungry for adventure was packing up my rucksack with my teddy bear and marching down the driveway on a mission to see the world, only to reach the gate and realise I’m 7 years old and have no idea where I’m going. 

At school I felt determined to prove my capability and worth, which served me well in an environment where the message was clear: work hard then you’ll get to choose the life you want, a life of freedom and adventure. The work-hard worldview was compounded at home where I was told ‘Everyone else has to work hard for a living, who are you to do what you love?’

As a teenager I said my first ‘fuck you’ to the system, cutting my hair off and dyeing it hot pink, donning a sheepskin jacket and fully embracing my weird. Rejecting the norm and being more openly me led to finding my tribe of fellow weirdos and forging my own path; studying at art school and finally packing my rucksack for real and heading to Australia (sans teddy bear).

In my 20’s I brought my gung-ho determination to the world of holistic therapy, qualifying in massage, aromatherapy, reflexology and reiki all at once, despite the advice being to do them one by one. Eager to prove myself even in the world of healing, and convinced hard work was the only way, I wasn’t going to be told I couldn’t. My Mum had just been diagnosed with cancer and looking back I can see how wanting to do ‘something good’ with my life was also driven by a feeling of powerlessness at home.

I settled in Australia but flew back home just before my Mum’s death, leaving behind my fiance, dog, home and family life. Despite the difficulty of that time, I felt freer than I had in years. I realised how much I’d watered myself down to fit in with my older partner and his life. I remember the dread I felt as I cried my eyes out for the 23-hour journey back, knowing I would have to walk away from the comfort of everything we’d built over 7 years together.

I left our cosy suburban life and headed for Sydney where it felt like I was catching up on the fun I’d missed in my 20s. Before long the fast pace and bright lights of city life had the artist/healer in me feeling pressure to get a ‘proper job’. And so began my next misadventure, corporate ladder climbing in the design world. 

Commoditising my creative spirit felt like I was selling my soul but I knew no other way. For 10 years I was so desperate to be seen and valued that I worked myself into the ground, convinced I couldn’t rest until I achieved the acknowledgement and success I deserved. 

Deep down I knew I had to kill the job before it killed me but I felt stuck and didn’t know what I wanted next. In my search, I discovered the world of life coaching and experienced an instant resonance. In true Holly style, I went full throttle, studying for a diploma whilst working full-time and coaching several clients. My soul had finally found its path, but my body was not going to let me do both. I remember saying to my own coach at the time “If I don’t quit this job I know my body will make me”. 

And she did. Burnout hit hard and what I thought would be a couple of months of rest, turned into 2 years. No matter how much I rested I still felt exhausted. The doctors told me it was depression but I knew it was deeper than a diagnosis. My life wasn’t working for me anymore and the burnout was forcing me to listen.

I didn’t just need to rest, I needed to heal and recharge, and that meant dancing, playing, soulful connection, community, adventure and the ocean. I upgraded my rucksack to a campervan and hit the road, taking my Dad on one last road trip just before he died. In my grief healing journey, I found myself living in a hugging community where for the first time I felt seen, recognised and loved at a soul level just for being me, not for the work I was producing. I saw the positive light of my just-being-me on the people around me and knew it was time to live in a new way, soul-first and in full alignment.

At last my life path makes sense to me; every ‘wrong turn’ was in fact a stepping stone to creating my version of a happy life and I was becoming a coach the whole time. My curious artist who needs to play, learn and create in the physical world. The soulful healer who wants to grow and help others to recover. The designer and UX researcher who loves to understand people’s needs, pains, desires and motivations, and discover innovative, beautiful solutions to their problems. All parts of me get to come together as a Life Design Coach and I love the work I do in the world, helping others to become their whole selves.

I’ve finally given myself permission to prioritise the things I love most in life. I trust myself to live in the flow of what is, without trying to control the outside world, and I’m creating exciting and unexpected opportunities in the unknown. I’m pretty shit at surfing so my inner rebel feels deliciously naughty to have run away to a tropical island to build my life and business around it just because I can. No regrets. 

What does your inner rebel really want in life?

How I got here